About Moms

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I thin k.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be prett y bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she marri ed him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the b est spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed
3. I guess Mom is, but only because s he has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, th ey make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Valentine's Day! Muah!

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you are all doing something fantastic today! Here's a little story to make you love those kisses a little more!


Kisses unleash chemicals that ease stress levels

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, AP Science Writer Randolph E. Schmid, Ap Science Writer – Fri Feb 13, 6:22 pm ET

CHICAGO – "Chemistry look what you've done to me," Donna Summer crooned in Science of Love, and so, it seems, she was right. Just in time for Valentine's Day, a panel of scientists examined the mystery of what happens when hearts throb and lips lock. Kissing, it turns out, unleashes chemicals that ease stress hormones in both sexes and encourage bonding in men, though not so much in women.

Chemicals in the saliva may be a way to assess a mate, Wendy Hill, dean of the faculty and a professor of neuroscience at Lafayette College, told a meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science on Friday.

In an experiment, Hill explained, pairs of heterosexual college students who kissed for 15 minutes while listening to music experienced significant changes in their levels of the chemicals oxytocin, which affects pair bonding, and cortisol, which is associated with stress. Their blood and saliva levels of the chemicals were compared before and after the kiss.

Both men and women had a decline in cortisol after smooching, an indication their stress levels declined.

For men, oxytocin levels increased, indicating more interest in bonding, while oxytocin levels went down in women. "This was a surprise," Hill said.

Dung it! Who threw away my 7-year collection?

Reported by the AP Fri Feb 6, 8:42 pm ET

LONDON – A British university has apologized to a Ph.D. student for throwing away his treasured, seven-year collection of lizard dung. Daniel Bennett has told Times Higher Education magazine that he had collected the dung in the Philippines while studying the rare butaan lizard, a relative of the Komodo dragon. The material was to be studied as part of his doctoral research.

Bennett said the 77-pound bag was thrown away by cleaners at his lab at Leeds University in northern England. He says the dung represented seven years' worth of field work, and its loss "left me reeling."

The university said Friday it had apologized.

Bennett says he rejected the university's compensation offer of 500 pounds ($750) and will "see them in court."

McDonald's At It Again

LOL... They just can't seem to stay away from those crazy lawsuits.

Woman Claims McDonald's Drink Contained Chemical

Woman Sues, Claims She Was Given A Drink At A McDonald's That Contained A Cleaning Chemical

BALTIMORE, Feb. 4, 2009

(AP) A Baltimore woman said when she ordered an iced tea at a local McDonald's restaurant last year, employees gave her a cup containing a cleaning chemical. Caryl Jones has filed a $100,000 lawsuit in Baltimore City Circuit Court.

The lawsuit alleges negligence and breach of warranty. Jones' attorney, Patricia Steiger, said the cup contained a sanitizer used on kitchen equipment.

Steiger said Jones immediately spat out the liquid when it burned her mouth but was found by doctors to have suffered "a mild or moderate chemical reaction."

Franchise owner Cynthia Brown declined comment on the lawsuit. In a statement e-mailed through a McDonald's spokeswoman, Brown said the matter was being taken seriously.

STEELERS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!!!!

What a way to end a fantastic Sunday! My boys rallied together for an amazing finish and become the winningest franchise in the NFl. It's going to be a good year!

Steelers win Super Bowl on Holmes' late TD
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) - Their Steel Curtain shredded, Ben Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh offense ended a Super Bowl of incredible swings with a final-minute touchdown for a historic victory.

Santonio Holmes made a brilliant 6-yard catch deep in the right corner of the end zone with 35 seconds remaining Sunday night, lifting the Steelers to a record-setting sixth Super Bowl win, 27-23 over the Arizona Cardinals.

"Scramble right, scramble left, find someone open," Roethlisberger said.

It was one of the most thrilling finishes to the NFL title game, certainly equaling last year's upset by the New York Giants that ended with Plaxico Burress' TD catch - with 35 seconds left, too.

But this one was even wilder.

The Steelers (15-4), winning their second Super Bowl in four seasons, led 20-7 in the fourth quarter, only to see Kurt Warner and the Cardinals stage a remarkable rally to go in front 23-20 with 2:37 remaining.

Warner hit All-Pro receiver Larry Fitzgerald in stride for a 64-yard touchdown with 2:37 left. Already owning a slew of postseason receiving marks this year, Fitzgerald sped down the middle of the field, watching himself outrun the Steelers on the huge video screen.

Fitzgerald could only watch from the sideline as Roethlisberger engineered a 78-yard drive to win it in what resembled Heinz Field South. With waves of twirling Terrible Towels turning Raymond James Stadium into a black-and-gold tableau - Steelers fans supporting their beloved team, the economy be damned - Pittsburgh's offense rescued the title.

Holmes was selected the game's MVP.

"Great players step up in big-time games to make plays," Holmes said. "I kind of lost a little composure, you know, but I knew our defense would give us a chance to make it back."

The stunning swings overshadowed Pittsburgh linebacker James Harrison's record 100-yard interception return for a touchdown to end the first half. That looked like the signature play until the final quarter, when both teams shook off apparent knockout punches to throw haymakers of their own.

Big Ben and Holmes struck the last blow, and when Warner fumbled in the final seconds, the Cardinals' dream of winning their first NFL crown since 1947 were gone.

"I said it's now or never, I told the guys all the film study you put in doesn't matter unless you do it now," Roethlisberger said. "I'm really proud of the way they responded."

The Cardinals (12-8), playing in their first Super Bowl and first championship game of any kind since 1948, lost their composure after Harrison's heroics. They had three penalties to keep Pittsburgh's 79-yard drive going, a 16-play march that ended with Jeff Reed's 21-yard field goal for a 20-7 lead.

And they couldn't get Fitzgerald free until very late. But boy did he get free.

The All-Pro who already had set a postseason record for yards receiving and had five touchdowns in the playoffs was a nonentity until an 87-yard fourth-quarter drive he capped with a leaping 1-yard catch over Ike Taylor. He made four receptions on that series on which Warner hit all eight passes for all the yards.

And then he struck swiftly for the 64-yarder that put Arizona within minutes of a remarkable victory.

A victory that didn't happen because the Steelers are as resilient as they come.

"I'm disappointed for our team," said Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt, the offensive coordinator in Pittsburgh when the Steelers won the 2005 title. "This is a group of men that I'm very proud of. They played very hard in circumstances where nobody believed in them.

"We learned a lot about our team, it's just unfortunate it had to come out that way."

Pittsburgh looked like the offensive juggernaut to open the game, smoothly driving 71 yards in eight plays. But the 72nd yard that would have given the Steelers a touchdown never came.

It seemingly had when Roethlisberger's short run was ruled a TD. Whisenhunt challenged, and the score was overturned, leaving Tomlin his first difficult decision.

He took the points, Reed's 18-yard field goal, the shortest in a Super Bowl since 1976.

After forcing a punt, the Steelers kept the ball the remainder of the first quarter - 11:28 in all, outgaining Arizona 140-13, getting seven first downs to one for the Cardinals. As Warner and the usually potent Cardinals' offense watched, frustrated, from the sideline, Pittsburgh plowed it in on Gary Russell's 1-yard run to make it 10-0.

When Arizona finally got the ball back, it suddenly put the Steelers off-balance with short passes - and one huge play.

Warner had enough time to shine the NFL Man of the Year trophy he received just before kickoff, then hit Anquan Boldin streaking from left to right. He was upended at the Pittsburgh 1, and Warner's lob to Ben Patrick got Arizona on the board. It was the tight end's first touchdown this season.

Arizona's defense then emulated the Steel Curtain with a big play. Bryan Robinson tipped Roethlisberger's pass high into the air and Karlos Dansby corralled it at the Pittsburgh 34. The Cardinals got to the 1, then, perhaps jealous, the Steelers' D asserted itself — magnificently.

Harrison, the Defensive Player of the Year, stepped in front of Boldin at the goal line, picked off Warner's throw and began a journey down the right sideline to the longest play in Super Bowl history.


Harrison ran past or through most of the Cardinals, nearly stepped out of bounds at one point, and was dragged down by Fitzgerald as he fell to the goal line. The play was reviewed as several Cardinals knelt on one knee, exhausted from the chase and disheartened by the result.

"I didn't see him around my offensive line," Warner said. "He made a great play and a great run to get them a touchdown."

The previous longest play was Desmond Howard's 99-yard kickoff return for Green Bay in 1997.